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Monday, August 31, 2009

Sasquatch Envy

I am not sure who the author is on this, but if they come forward I will glady attach their name and give them proper credit! :)

Sasquatch Envy in BFery refers to the theorized reaction of a researcher, either during or immediately following the rigours of field work, to the realization that the sum total of their effort to date has produced neither a living nor dead Sasquatch specimen, nor a better than average blobsquatch-quality BF image captured on film (either still or moving), nor an identifiable audio file, as proof of BF existence that would be acceptable to their peers, fellow researchers or the general public.

One may consider this realization a defining moment in the stunting of their personal research development, leading to a deep seated sense of inadequacy, frustration, lack of self worth and anxiety disorder over their subsequent failure to be recognized, either by their peers or by the general public following their work, as a bona fide and successful, self-actuated, Sasquatch researcher. For individuals who have arrived at this critical juncture the risk of becoming unhinged or unbalanced is palpable. It is the norm in BFery.

In contemporary culture, the term Sasquatch Envy is sometimes used symbolically or metaphorically to refer to the idea that researchers wish they had a Sasquatch, or to refer to anxieties between researchers about the veracity of their respective research claims, which could accusatorily be said to account for their failure to produce adequate proof of Sasquatch existence. Non-researchers do not generally suffer from Sasquatch Envy.

However, according to popular culture, the parallel reaction in non-researching, casual, BF observers or aficionados, to the realization that no one to date has produced a satisfactory proof of Sasquatch existence, is referenced as the equally ubiquitous Sasquatch Denial Complex which has in recent times moved beyond mere Snopesian urban legend into staunch pan-cultural reality.

Today’s BF culture is rife with both Sasquatch Envy and Sasquatch Denial. Indeed, these are desperate times.

Sufferers of both Sasquatch Envy and Sasquatch Denial tend to clash violently when confronting one other over the veracity of their respective claims. On occasion, during especially heated exchanges over intellectual turf, their horns may irreparably lock, resulting in their mutual and sometimes permanent retirement from the forum. Their ossified remains can often be discovered in long abandoned forum back threads.

In BFery Envy Theory, the Casting Stage (occurring approximately between the first and third years of participation) is the first period of active development in which the monomaniacal fetish-focus is primarily on the foot area, with an emphasis on acquiring the largest possible plaster casting sample, since, in this case, size does matter.

Prior to this stage, the passive Armchair Squatcher Phase (broadly defined by a motivating interest in discovering anything and everything that can be presently learned about BF through available media) functions as the primary energy force within the mind which may or may not be powerful enough to promote mobilization of the individual into an active in-the-field research role. Not everyone is cut out to be cut out.

Failure to move from the early passive stage into the all-encompassing active stage within the first three years could result in BF Stultification, an often fatal condition by which the intellect and common sensibility gradually degenerate into clinical depression and BF Morbidity. Currently many forum participants may be unaware that they are suffering these debilitating conditions.

In order to avoid the pangs of stultification and morbidity it is almost always recommended that the interested party find a way to graduate to the contentious field of active field research where one can look forward to dubious but pivotal events such as purported scat or hair collection, den discovery, stick formation photography or perhaps the most contentious development of all, an actual sighting, the ultimate catalyst in the development of a life-long Sasquatch Delusional Disorder.

While there is no cure for any of these degenerative conditions at the present time, there is, nonetheless, hope that, while fashionable for the past few number of decades, the entire subject and apparatus of applied BFery may gradually slip away into oblivion as the concept of Sasquatch Envy is less and less regarded as a serious psychopathology by most psychoanalysts.

Signs to Watch For: Have You Been Infected?

Have you noticed that your research efforts have resulted in significantly different outcomes than those claimed by other participants because of differences in research approaches?

Have you wondered whether perhaps you are, after all, not mentally or physically equipped to have a research relationship with a Bigfoot or a Sasquatch?

Do you see the solution to either your Sasquatch Envy or Sasquatch Denial as hinging upon your own or another’s approval?

For Your Own Piece of Mind

In order of importance to you, rank the following BF research motivations:
a) desire for public recognition
desire for power
c) desire for pecuniary reward
d) desire for scientific status
e) desire for popular prestige
f) desire to be healed

If you chose (f), then you’re already (f)’d. Remember, where ever you go, there you are.

BFery is a Cutthroat World

In the world of BFery researchers often view each other as competitors whereby the research desires of one researcher often lead to the desire to replace and eliminate those of another researcher. Ascendancy is the name of the game. Or, one researcher often initially identifies with another so that they might learn to mimic the other, and thus similarly hope to replace them. If one researcher can succeed in displacing another researcher by stealth or cunning or clever ploys, especially in the popular media, then so much the better. These are learned competitive BFery techniques which all active research participants must strive to master. Wrangling on the discussion forums is a passive, but necessary, introductory technique designed to introduce the active researcher to Winning BF Strategies. Now it’s time to go all the way!

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